Criticism Title: Empathy Enables and Sustains Victimhood (Victim Role)
Summary of Criticism: Some critics argue that empathy, especially when expressed as "rescuing," can unintentionally reinforce a victim mentality in others. By constantly viewing someone as a victim needing rescue, empathy can strip them of agency, promote dependency, and discourage them from taking responsibility or developing resilience. Within the Drama Triangle, this dynamic locks individuals into the Victim and Rescuer roles, perpetuating dysfunction rather than fostering healthy autonomy.
An Advocate of this Criticism: Lynne Forrest, therapist and educator specializing in the Drama Triangle.
Quote that highlights the Criticism by the Advocate of the Criticism: "Out of her own need to be seen as a “good mom”, this co-dependent mother unwittingly taught her sons to see themselves as hapless victims whose unhappiness was always somebody else’s fault. ... She had a long list of evidence to back up her concerns. This accumulated evidence justified her 'obligation' to control her sons choices. ... Her incessant and futile attempts to control them causes constant battle between them, making it easy for the boys to blame their mother for the problems created by their own irresponsibility."
A link to the Quote: https://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/
Criticism Title: Empathy as a Tool for Emotional Manipulation (Rescuer → Victim Loop)
Summary of Criticism: Empathy is sometimes weaponized to manipulate relationships, letting individuals exaggerate suffering or play the "martyr" or "victim" roles to gain sympathy, avoid responsibility, and control others’ behavior. This is a key pattern in the Drama Triangle, where expressed empathy enables someone to remain entrenched as a "perpetual victim," creating guilt and obligation in the Rescuer.
An Advocate of this Criticism: Clinical insights from therapists observing emotional manipulation tactics.
Quote that highlights the Criticism by the Advocate of the Criticism: "Manipulators frequently use guilt and sympathy to influence others. They may exaggerate personal hardships or fabricate crises to elicit compassion. By portraying themselves as victims, they deflect responsibility and gain leverage."
A link to the Quote:
https://www.ourmental.health/toxic-and-fake/the-manipulation-trap-how-toxic-people-play-victim-to-control-others
Criticism Title: Toxic Empathy Blurs Boundaries and Excuses Harm (Persecutor Disguised as Empathy)
Summary of Criticism: Excessive or unbounded empathy can shift focus away from accountability and healthy boundaries, especially in abusive or dysfunctional relationships. It can be used to excuse bad behavior (Persecutor), rationalize violations, and silence appropriate anger—thus sustaining the unhealthy power dynamics of the Drama Triangle.
An Advocate of this Criticism: The Primrose Practice (mental health professionals and writers discussing "toxic empathy").
Quote that highlights the Criticism by the Advocate of the Criticism: "Toxic empathy describes a distorted response where someone identifies with another person’s pain so intensely that they prioritize that person’s needs and feelings above all else—sometimes even at the expense of their own wellbeing... Misused, it can become toxic—clouding judgment, undermining intuition, and silencing the voices of victims."
A link to the Quote:
https://theprimrosepractice.com/toxic-empathy-and-the-subtle-manipulation-of-focus-after-tragedy/